Can i not drive my cunt home
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
