I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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