i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
