The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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