Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize