Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
