Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize