Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
