My cat gives me a boner
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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