I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
