this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Life is so much better after having sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
