I hate all girls vehemently.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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