Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize