I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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