We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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