That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need moral support for this bender
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
