Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
