The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
