I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
