And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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