I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
