Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
