i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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