I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize