if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
