the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
