tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
