The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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