oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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