I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
