Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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