STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im holly from the hills drunk
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
