i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
