I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
