I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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