I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
