But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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