You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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