But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
