i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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