i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
