I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
