I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize