What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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