Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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