This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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