I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
