wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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