Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
