and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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