Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize