so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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