did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize