when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
