This is not my ceiling
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
