Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
