final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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