I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
