Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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