dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
