I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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