I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
