Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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