I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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