oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
