Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
