you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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