I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
